“Rejoice in the Lord always; and again I will say, rejoice.” (Philippians 4:4, English Standard Version)
If rejoicing always came easily and naturally, I don’t really think that God would have had to put this verse in the bible. After all, this is a command, and a very emphatic one at that! Why bother adding something like that if everyone would just happen to do it anyway? I mean, it would be like saying, “Alright guys, listen up! This is important. When you get really hungry, you need to find food and eat it so you don’t starve.” Everyone knows that! It’s instinct. But apparently, constant rejoicing in the Lord is not instinctual…or at least not always.
Through my time on this trip and that leading up to it, it has been so fascinating and incredible watching how the Lord works on me. In ways I would least expect it, He has provided opportunities for growth and heart-shaping. (I’ve shared several of these moments in my previous blog posts.) Through my fears and misgivings before I left, through my struggle to grasp the language once I got here, through little frustrations, disappointments and annoyances throughout my stay, through relationships with other missionaries as well as local people, and finally, in the last few weeks, through watching other people’s suffering.
That last one presented some of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn here. I’m not going to lie, and I’m not going to try to make myself sound more spiritual or Godly than I am. (I’m working on it, but I have by no means “arrived”!) Yes, there were times I doubted. There were times I questioned. There were times I looked for my own strength, my own answers, my own explanations. There were times that I would like to be able say I handled what I was seeing in a more biblical way than I actually did. But even through my wrong responses and emotions, God was breaking me down, pulling me off my high horse, shaping me into the person He created me to be, and reminding me that I am nothing more than a child, His helpless little lamb, in need of constant care, affirmation, instruction, and help.
At this point, you are probably wondering where I’m going with all this, but bear with me. Yes, I promise that the title and first paragraph did have something to do with this whole blog post. Just hold on, I’m getting to that!
So, as I was saying, God has been sculpting me using the most unexpected tools. As you might expect (and may have seen in my last update), God used the hard things I was seeing, the hurt and suffering and death, to teach me to lift my eyes to Him through tough times. However, He wasn’t finished after that lesson. After He had brought me to a point of low despair, He lifted me up like only our Father can. And then, He began to teach me what it really means to rejoice.
I’m going to be totally honest here…that one threw me a little. Who expects that your bleakest hour will be the one in which God teaches you what it means to have true, pure joy.
Weird, right?
At first, it was hard. I struggled with a lot of guilt. I felt overwhelmingly guilty for so much. I even felt guilty for being born an American! I mean, seriously, if there’s anything that you can’t help more, it’s where and when you happen to be born. But I still felt it. Seeing people who were not born into the prosperity I was made me wish that I didn’t have what I did, because it felt wrong to have so much when others had so little. It was hard to be thankful for my abundance when I was witnessing the scarcity others experienced on a daily basis. I hated to culture I was a part of, and how sucked into all its petty shallowness I truly was.
Also, I felt guilty for laughing. Yes, laughing. Every time I laughed, I caught myself. How could I laugh? And beyond that, how dare I? I had seen the unexplainable grief that many people were going through at that very moment, yet I had to audacity to laugh?
It was through all this guilt and frustration that God brought me to that verse. “Rejoice always, and again I say, rejoice.” But could it just be that easy? Just, BAM! Rejoice! That’s it? I didn’t even feel like I was allowed to rejoice, and now, God was commanding me to?? I felt like He was asking me to just slap on a bandaid and a smile and play pretend. It felt fake and awkward, like I was a canned recording, a smiley robot. So I had to go back to that verse, and to other scriptures. For one thing, I had to realize what the verse was really saying. It doesn’t say, “Always be happy and seem cheerful.” It doesn’t say, “Ignore pain and pretend everything’s ok.” It says, “Rejoice in the Lord.” I feel like God has been bringing me back to that point a lot lately—putting my focus on Him. When Paul exhorts us to rejoice, it is not in our situations, our experiences, or ourselves. It’s in our Hope—in the Lord! He’s the only thing we can rejoice in without fail.
Also, “rejoice” is not the same as “be happy”. I did a short word study on both of those words. “Happy” is usually associated with pleasure and emotions and good feelings. “Rejoice” has to do with joy. If you want a fun project, do a little word search on “joy” in the Bible. It calls the joy of the Lord unspeakable, full, and our strength, among other things. Seriously, I definitely recommend going back to all the verses about rejoicing and joy! You won’t be disappointed.
But back to what I was saying… God doesn’t ask us to be cheerful all the time. If you look back through the Bible, you will see many times of deep despair from His servants. However, that doesn’t (or shouldn’t) change our view of God and our delight in Him. Take for example Job. In the midst of losing all of his worldly possessions, as well as all his children, he says, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.” (Job 1:21, ESV. [emphasis added]) (Also, if you want a little bonus, look up verse 10 of the next chapter!) Job chooses to focus on the Lord and bless His name. He rejoices in the Lord!
During my struggling, God also brought to mind Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” (ESV) I had already realized that I needed to rejoice in God and who He was, but then this verse brought me such amazing freedom! I was able to accept that it wasn’t two-faced of me to mourn other’s losses and let my heart break for them, and to also laugh with the company and fellowship of others. It was a beautiful revelation. I think that I had always focused on the weeping part of this verse, because it seems like that would be harder. It’s fun and easy to laugh with people when things are going great, but it can be a lot harder to come beside them during struggles. However, God tells us to do both. I felt like I had been given permission to be joyful again! And not just permission…ability. Through Christ, I was able to have joy—true, lasting joy—in the Lord, in my Father, in God.
The passage in Philippians 4 that I quoted earlier concludes like this: “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be know to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayers and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:4-7, ESV) I love the promise at the end. After giving us all this instruction (rejoice, be reasonable, don’t be anxious), Paul then gives us a piece of hope. When we do all these things, the peace of God will guard our hearts and minds (also see verse 9). I have witnessed every part of this verse (vs. 7) as it has been manifested in my own heart. For one, I have truly felt a peace from God and of God. After wrestling with everything previously mentioned, I came to a point of rest and assurance that can only come from God, a peace that I knew had been given to me by Him. Second, it truly surpasses all my understanding, let alone power of explanation! Of all the things I have felt since I’ve been here, this peace of God has been the hardest to explain. I was able to tell people about my own thoughts and observations, and my struggles and heartaches, but explaining the peace that now fills my heart? There simply aren’t words. I don’t fully understand it, I can’t begin to explain it, but I know that it is there—I feel it permeating every fiber of my being. Thirdly, it has most definitely guarded my heart and mind. The pain and discouragement that tries to creep into my heart, the questions and doubts that knock on the doors of my mind…this peace overpowers it all and creates a shield around me. No, that doesn’t mean I ignore the affliction I see around me, that I can no longer see the sorrow, or that I’m calloused to the distress, but it does mean that I’m not overwhelmed by it. Lastly, it is all in Jesus. My hope, my assurance, my rest, my joy, my peace—all are in Jesus and through Him.
The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster. I’ve seen a lot, experienced a lot, felt a lot, laughed a lot, and cried a lot. I know many of you were worried about me after my last post. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. They no doubt attributed to this miracle God has made in me!
Wherever you are today, whatever you are going through, I hope to encourage you. It’s not easy, it doesn’t always feel natural, but in everything, rejoice. Rejoice in God and who He is, and in Jesus and what He’s done for you. It takes a lot of practice and perseverance to learn how to rejoice continually. It’s been a journey, but God is slowly revealing to me what it means to truly rejoice in Him and Him alone. I have no other expectations, no other desires, no other hope than Him and His peace and presence. This week, let yourself be wrapped in His peace, and believe me when I say this: you’ll never need anything more.
