Bittersweet

I am officially on my way! I am gazing out the airplane window at the beautiful Rogue Valley, and waving goodbye to my home, my family, my friends, my church, my job, my comforts and everything familiar. Goodbyes are always hard. No matter how you slice or sugarcoat it, waving farewell to people you love isn’t easy. As I finished packing my bags, hugged my family for the last time, and whispered a few final, tearful partings, I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by how much I am loved. I received texts and emails today from many brothers and sisters in Christ, some of whom I have never even met, encouraging me and pointing me to the Source of my only true hope, strength, and certainty. Thank you all so much!

Many people have asked me lately how I was feeling and processing everything. To be one hundred percent honest, I have no idea, or at the very least, no idea how to describe it! There are so many emotions competing in my heart right now: excitement, nervousness, anticipation, apprehensiveness, calmness, restlessness, peace, frenzy, resolve, boldness, faith, confidence, conviction. I feel like each minute, a new one takes over! However, where I am filled with doubt, God has placed faith and trust. Where I have anxieties, He has supplied confidence and peace. Where I experience hesitations, He has provided confidence and boldness. Where I am afraid, He has given courage and comfort. Any strength, any assurance, any steadfastness in me is not of me. It is of God.
Thank you all for you prayers in the past weeks. In my last post, I admitted to you that I was scared, that I have insecurities, and that I can't do this alone. Since then, God has given me a peace that can only come through faith in Him. Thank you so much for the prayers you have offered for me! They have not been in vain!!

I have immensely encouraged lately by several scripture verses that I would like share with all of you.
Genesis 28:15  "Behold, I am with you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you." I don't have any intentions of taking this verse out of context. It was written to Jacob following God's promises to him. I am by no means inferring that it is God's obligation to return me safely home to Klamath Falls. However, He is with me and will not leave me. He has promised me eternal life as His child, and He will bring me home, whether to my earthly home, or my heavenly one with Him.
Joshua 1:9  "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Yes, this includes Africa. I find it amazing that as Christians we (myself absolutely included!) often find ourselves living in fear. The God who makes mountains move, who created the universe with a word, who raises the dead and has power over all the powers of hell is with me, wherever I go! If I believed this, and I mean truly believed this, I would never have fear, wherever I go, whatever I do. What a powerful conviction...
Matthew 28:19-20  "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age." I almost started to apologize for quoting this passage. The Great Commission--at first while I was writing this, I felt it was a little cliche for a missions blog. After all, what missionary doesn't quote the Great Commission? That makes it kind of cliche, right?! Wrong. God's word is never cliche. His promises never expire no matter how many times we turn to them. God sent out his apostles, as He has sent out me. I find it so fascinating that of all the things that Jesus could have said, he finished with, "I am with you always." He didn't end it with some motivational slogan, or an exciting sell. He simply reminded them and us that He is with us. Making disciples of every nation is a big task, and it's the one Jesus gave His disciples. However, He also gave them hope and a promise. "I am with you always." Through the trials and persecutions that He knew His disciples would face, through the mocking and laughter that He knew they would have to endure, through the heresy and false teaching He knew they would have to combat while they followed His Commission, He gave them one last thing to cling to: "I am with you always."
Whatever trials, sickness, pain or sadness I may face on this trip, I know that I can withstand it, because Christ is with me, always and everywhere, and He will bring me home.

Well, enough of the sappy stuff! It's time that someone laugh for once while reading this blog! In case anyone had any doubt that I am a TOTAL blonde, here we go:

So my family and I had met my great-grandparents at Dairy Queen in Medford before heading to the airport so that I could say goodbye to them. So as we were sitting there, we were talking about all the shots and medication that I had gotten. Dad was asking about my malaria medicine, and Mom had asked about the typhoid oral vaccine that had been in the refrigerator. We were talking about it, and Dad casually asked, “So you have proof and documentation of all that and everything?” Oh. My. Goodness! Cue panic attack. When I had gotten my yellow fever vaccine back in April, they had given me a “proof of vaccination” pamphlet thing with a special stamp from the Health Department verifying that I had actually gotten the shot. This little yellow paper deal is very important, because without it, I have no proof that I actually ever had the vaccine, and the officials won’t even let me in Niger! Good thing I had taken care of that, right? Yes, except that as soon as Dad asked that simple little question, I realized that I didn’t have it. One of the three things (my passport and visa being the other two) that I needed to get into the country, and I had left it in our safe at home!! 

Needless to say, I flipped. 

Head in hands, almost in tears, I asked my mom to call Dr. Zoolkoski to see what our options were. I couldn’t even talk to him myself. How could I have forgotten something like this?! He didn’t pick up right away, so here we were, sitting in the middle of Dairy Queen, an hour-and-a-half away from this dumb little piece of imperative paper, a half hour before I’m supposed to be at the airport, going over every single possibility we can think of. Can we fax it? Maybe, but that probably won’t suffice. Could someone from Klamath get it and drive it over? No, they probably wouldn’t even get there in time for my flight. Should I just go home, get it and then drive to Seattle? Well, yes, but that’s a $200 flight wasted, not to mention the 10-hour drive plus gas. Can I take a different flight in morning? No, that wouldn’t give me enough time. 

My mom and I were looking up alternative flights when Dr. Z texted, “Will call back in one minuted. Is everything okay?” No. It wasn’t. I was going to have heart attack. 

My mom was responding when he called her back. She started to explain the situation, then handed the phone to me. I told him what had happened, all the while trying to keep my heart rate under 200, breath semi-normally, and not burst into uncontrollable tears. “So, you mean that yellow vaccination paperwork, right?” he asked once I had finished. “Yes.” “Oh ya, well we have that!”

Um….duh.

Back a couple of months ago, I had sent them all the paperwork that I needed to apply for a visa, and the vaccination record was included in that! So that little yellow piece of paper was already in Seattle with my passport, visa, and the Zoolkoskis, and I had totally forgotten that I sent it there! I’m so bright sometimes! After scaring the living daylight out of everyone, I think my family was ready to take me out back and teach me a lesson!! So thank you, Lord, for taking care of everything, even when I’m freaking out! Please continue to pray that God will keep me safe and collected, despite my presently-failing brain! :)